Before I actually explain what our newest running column is, I need to do a bit of background. It all started with a Facebook argument.
Any member of NYU’s Sports Spectrum club will tell you just how heated I get over relatively minor basketball debates. Once, it got to the point where I felt I needed to tout my basketball credentials to prove a point. So I pointed to my experience as an NBA champion. As I didn’t at the time actually have an NBA championship ring, I was forced to seek other measures to prove myself. And so, the Wikipedia Bandit was born.
That is Wikipedia’s depth chart for the 1966-67 NBA champion Boston Celtics. I’m slotted in neatly as a backup power forward. I have never been discovered. No harm, no foul. But the thirst grew. Suddenly, I found myself fabricating an entire career for myself.
After winning several more championships with the Celtics, I spent the latter half of the 70’s as a journeyman. The league no longer had a use for a 5’10” power forward, so I was forced to adjust. I learned to defend wings and shoot three’s, and after joining the Philadelphia 76ers for the 1982-83 season I won my final championship as a small forward.
But my footprint on the league extends far beyond my playing days. I spent several years as a broadcaster for CBS. I moved into coaching in the mid 90’s. And during the 2004-05 season, my efforts were finally recognized.
I never did get a chance to lead an NBA team, but I found other opportunities in basketball.
Over the course of several years, I managed to build an entire NBA career for myself on Wikipedia from scratch. My exploits have grown so legendary that they’ve even caught the attention of basketball celebrities. Here’s Trey Kirby of The Starters and The Basketball Jones congratulating me for my hard work:
And yet I crave more. My career may be filled to the brim, but there are others that could benefit from my internet wizardry. So every Monday, I will edit the Wikipedia pages of three basketball players, coaches or general figures. What will those edits be? Only the bandit knows. Here are our first three:
Karl Malone and John Stockton:
Gandalf the Grey: