Here is a List of Tattoo Suggestions for Omer Asik

Jan 5, 2013; Cleveland, OH, USA; Houston Rockets center Omer Asik (3) reacts after committing a foul in the fourth quarter against the Cleveland Cavaliers at Quicken Loans Arena. Mandatory Credit: David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

It has recently come to our attention that Omer Asik doesn’t have any tattoos. This displeases us. So we’re going to suggest some tattoos for Omer Asik. There’s not a good reason for it. These don’t even relate to Omer Asik. We just think Omer Asik could do with a few tattoos and these are damn good tattoo ideas. So here’s what we’re suggesting:

  • A snake with a top hat.
  • A sullen pyramid smoking a cigarette outside of a 7-Eleven.
  • The Ghost of Thanksgivings Past.
  • Sam Hinkie’s entire 13-page resignation letter, but attributed to former Vice President John Nance Garner.
  • A James Michael McAdoo jersey.
  • Katniss Everdeen reciting the Pledge of Allegiance on a burning Lincoln Continental.
  • Patrick Beverley’s social security number.
  • Eight maids-a-milking
  • The non-Beyonce members of Destiny’s Child wielding Green Lantern power rings above the words “Make America Great Again.”
  • An iPhone 3GS charger against a field of topaz.
  • Any suggestions he might have for a reboot of the Tron movie franchise.
  • The first football he ever dunked.
  • Former Orlando Magic general manager Otis Smith emerging from a time machine on the day of the 2008 NBA Draft to urge his former self to take Asik with the No. 22 overall pick.
  • Hear-O, the superhero who solves crimes with his super hearing.
  • A newly mustachioed Mike Breen filling a pillow with quail eggs while whispering “bang.”
  • A clock set to 6:30, the time his local Fox affiliate aired reruns of Dallas in his native Turkey.
  • A map leading to the store where the snake from his first tattoo got that nifty top hat.

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